Discovering the presumed unpalatable...

**Please take note of the irony and timing of this post.**

Being the good LDS food storer that I am, I have taken it upon myself to venture into the unknown and terrifying realms of tinned meat products.

Now, don't get me wrong! Tuna is alright, GOOD chicken is convenient, EXCELLENT crab can be amazing, clams are a must for my award winning chowder, but that is my personal experience in this lonely arena. Thus, due to my ignorance and paranoia, I have realized that I MUST finally face my fears. I must live by faith, that these products have been made for a reason and wouldn't have lasted over this past century if there wasn't a desire to consume them on a regular basis.

I have tried SPAM. In fact, I tried the low sodium brand that had less fat--you know the kind. In stead of 30g per serving it's like 29g. Low fat is awesome! Same great taste, almost the same great fat. Spam is pretty descent when you think about starving or only having 100 #10 cans of raw wheat. Frying it is a must for me, so if I were in survival mode I would HAVE to build a good roaring fire before I even opened the can of dog-food-smelling mechanically separated ham product. I will keep cans of Spam in my storage.

However, there are somethings that I cannot bring myself to try no matter the number of witnesses. These items are, but not excluded to: any kind of FEET, SNOUTS, EARS, GIZZARDS, and anything else that cannot be simply described on the packaging, or resembles body parts I recognize and do not wish to put in my body, or don't recognize and don't care to know. Vienna sausages are out for me. They look like nubby fingers. Can't think about it....

NO! I don't want to hear all the parts in SPAM! That fear is gone, leave it alone! (fingers plunge into ears, eyes close, head shakes) I can't hear you...LA LA LA LA LA LA LA...

Are we ready to be adults about this now.

So...

Yesterday, I was in the grocery store, staring helplessly at all the options of discovery before me. The problem was I just didn't know what kind of discovery to make. I like fish. Tins of sardines began to flash and flip out at me, slowly seducing me to catch one. I couldn't decide which one to take: pretty wrapping, questionable packaging, oil, pure spring water. Was there a headless, boneless, skinless, taste yummy in my tummy kind? There was no such advertising to be found.

I settled on a cool red wrapped tin that looked professional. Maybe oil would be a good way to preserve the utmost sardine taste for my expert opinion on the tinned meat matter. Here we go!

On the way home, I contemplated all the ways to try eating the poor little packed fishies. I had no idea. I got on the Internet as quickly as possible once the groceries were away, the kids were fed and settled and I could begin my mad chef experiment. Most of the advice I found was from Sardine lovers who confessed to eating them straight out of the tin like a horse. They seemed to feel guilty about it, like it was some kind of vice in their life that no one knew about. Like a dirty little secret. I left the computer realizing I should just try them plain.

I removed the packaging first, because that's what the instructions told me to do, I'm not sure why. After the gorgeous (I imagine) hand-wrapped red shining plastic was off, I was disappointed to see a regular old tin with an expiration date on it. Nice bluff!

I had my smallest metal mixing bowl, a fork, some handy Ritz crackers and a frying pan ready to go. Upon opening the tin, I was ecstatic to see that the heads were not included! WHOO HOO!! I gently removed one little carcass and promptly dropped in the little bowl and smashed it into tiny silvery shards. Then I took my fresh, crispy, buttery perfected cracker and smeared the carcass onto it. I attempted to have my girls try some first, but I must have made a weird face, because without a word they ran out of the kitchen.

Before I partook of my magic creation, I felt I should take a test try with a little morsel I noticed on the side of the bowl. Taking a deep breathe, but keeping my eyes open, I placed it on my tongue and closed my gaping trap.

OH MY GOSH!!!! I was horrified!!

I had to take a bite of the cracker to make sure what I was really tasting. Yup!

I kid you not! Smoked Salmon!! I couldn't even believe it! My heart was pounding as I retrieved the packaging from the receptacle to check for nutritional value. Just as a suspected, high in calcium. Not bad!

It was so exciting that I called a few people to let them know what I had just discovered. Most didn't care the way I did. I'm sure Columbus felt some of that too.

Then it occurred to me! What if I'm now part of a secret sardine sub-populous that has silently sworn to keep this cheap unknown treasured fishy at bay.

Whatever...I decided to post about it. I'm sure I'll be blacklisted by many. Fish-haters, fish-savers, sardine-secretors, other sardine-discoverers that will fight my opinion about oil packaged and headless specimens.

Oh well...Such is life.

Good thing my new fish was adopted and named the day before I became a sardine junky.

Here are a couple ways I've already tried them and they are GREAT!

---smashed on a cracker

---smashed and mixed with the egg for an omelet

---seared with butter for less than 30 sec / side on hot skillet

Love to hear about any other food storage wonders out there!! =0)

CIAO!